


My Old Love

by SimplyRali



Category: Halt and Catch Fire
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Heartbreak, Love, Old Love, Post-Canon, Romance, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 06:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19900984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyRali/pseuds/SimplyRali
Summary: It was always you.





	My Old Love

I don’t dye my hair anymore. It had turned a greyish white color.

My pale skin is not as smooth and firm as it used to be, now it’s wrinkly and old.

I look down at my hands and frown. They’re scattered with lines and the knuckles look larger than normal. They hurt. The skin looks so thin that the veins underneath can be easily seen.

I lift my eyes and stare at the mirror in front of me. My face is dull and pale, almost lifeless.

The only thing that time didn’t change was my blue eyes.

They stayed the same - strong and bold, always searching.

I wonder if you’ve changed a lot.

The last time I heard from you was years ago. You sent me a short letter, telling me you got engaged and that you wanted us to remain friends.

I never replied.

How could I?

What was I supposed to say? Congratulations, I am happy for you? That I’ll come to your wedding? That I wish you both the best?

No.

How could I watch her give you everything that you’ve dreamed of? Everything that I couldn’t give you. . .

How could I watch her take my place?

I loved you. . . I still do.

After that letter you never wrote again, never called.

I don’t blame you. You moved on.

And I tried to do the same.

I sold the land and bought a small apartment. I lived by myself.

I never got married again. I couldn’t.

I lost my mother and I lost Bos.

I grew old.

Over the years my eyes weakened from all the sleepless nights in front of the screen, my hands deformed and started aching, my legs couldn’t hold me up anymore.

And after a while, I was unable to take care of myself. So I went to an elderly home. 

It’s not so bad here, they take care of me.

I hear voices in the hallway and remember that today a new person was supposed to move in the room across from mine. It’s been empty for quite some time.

I open the door and my breath hitches.

I see an elderly man.

It’s you.

Joe.

I know it’s you.

I recognized your eyes immediately.

How? They stayed the same - strong and bold, always searching.

You recognized me, too, I can tell. The softness of your gaze betrays you.

I stay frozen in place. And then it hits me like a ton of bricks - you don't look surprised to see me. . . Not at all.

You start to slowly move towards me, supporting yourself with a cane. You can barely walk.

My heart is clenching painfully inside my chest.

You’ve changed so much. 

Your thick hair is now brittle and thin, white. Your shoulders are slumped and your back is slightly hunched. Deep wrinkles had carved a map on your face. Your cheeks are hollow. You’ve lost so much weight that it looks like someone has sucked the life out of your entire being.

What happened to you? Where’s the unshakable Joe that I know? 

I feel my vision getting blurry from unshed tears.

Joe, what happened to you?

You stop in front of me and raise your hand, as if wanting to touch me but too afraid to do so. Your fingers are trembling, and I wonder if it’s from emotion or just punishment from the old age.

“Cam,” you whisper softly and the first tears escape my eyes.

You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear your voice again. 

But what are you doing here? What are you doing in a place like this?

This is a place for lonely people, people who have nobody. People like me.

Don’t you have a family?

Don’t you have children to take care of you?

A loving wife? Maybe your marriage didn’t last? Or . . .

Did . . . did you even get married at all?

“I’m sorry.”

I don’t know what else to say. But it seems like it’s enough for you because your hand finally cups my cheek. You lean forward and touch your forehead to mine, you’re still taller than me.

“Me too, Cam. Me too.”

I cover your hand with mine and close my eyes, savoring the warmth it radiates.

You’re really here.

I have so much that I want to say to you, so much to tell you about. I want to look at your face and memorize every line. So just stay with me for a while, Joe. Sit with me on the narrow bed and tell me about your life and I’ll tell you about mine. Hold my hand and curse with me all the lost years.

What have we done, Joe?

What have we done?

I lean in and kiss you, just a gentle touch of our lips.

Let’s treasure the time we have left.

Because it was you.

It was always you, my old love. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!!! ;) You can find me on Tumblr - https://simplyrali.tumblr.com


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